My Story
When I put this page together we had been battling with Infertility for Over eight years, but did not start Our IVF Journey until nearly 4 years ago. I had my 1st ectopic pregnancy when I was 24 years old, back then I did not even know what an ectopic pregnancy was. We had been shopping in Leeds and I got this excruciating pain on the way home in the car. The pain became unbearable and I collapsed in the house.
To cut a long story short ended up in hospital, my right tube had ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery, we were not trying for a family at this time, in fact it was a total shock to us because I had a IUD fitted. That is not to say I was not devastated. I was even more devastated when I was told that the state of my remaining tube, that it was highly unlikely that I would ever conceive again. Jimmy and I married the 23 July 1994. We had lived together for 5 years.
About a year after we married against the odds I became pregnant. I had an early Miscarriage at six weeks. I was desperate to get pregnant again after this. Month after month nothing happened, Months turned into years. I went to my GP and asked to have tests done. I had a hystrosalpinogram and blood test to see if I was ovulating. The blood test showed that I was ovulating but the Hystrosalpinogram showed that my tube was open but had bad adhesions from my tube to my bowel. I was told my chances of pregnancy was virtually nil. Once again devastation. We discussed IVF at this time but Jimmy was in the process of getting his business of the ground and there was no way we could afford IVF. I tried to push it to the back of my mind but as you all know it is not something you can forget. It would cut like a knife every time I was asked do I want more children. I had Danielle to my first marriage when I was just nineteen…..I remember like it was yesterday me looking down onto her perfect little face…I was so overwhelmed and here someone is asking me do I want more children…I felt like crying but I just used to swallow hard and say I don’t want any more children. I just found this easier than explaining…how do you explain, they do not know the pain….they are not in my position. I had a miscarriage before Danielle was born, I was 14 weeks. Looking back I got so pregnant so easy then. You never know what’s around the corner….Just because you are lucky enough to have one child that does not mean that it will be the case second time around. I was told my Infertility was probably down the IUD, that it was likely that it had caused an infection. If I had know that the IUD carried this risk there is know way I would have used it. Jimmy and I just carried on with our lives and had just about came to terms that we would not be blessed with a child of our own. We took a holiday to Cancun, Mexico…When I think back to that holiday….I was so happy it is probably one of the best memories I have throughout our time together. It always brings tears to my eyes when I think about that holiday. We came back I felt great we were both so happy. We were back a few weeks and I said to Jimmy that my period was late, to be honest we thought nothing of it…it went from five to seven days late…then from seven to ten, my bust was really sore too.
Pregnancy did not even enter my mind. A friend of mine at the Gym said maybe you are pregnant! I told her I could not have any more children. I was now two weeks late. My cousin told me to do a test and I told her not to be stupid, there was no way I was pregnant, I told her I had not used any contraception for five years so if I was going to get pregnant it would have happened before now. Jimmy convinced me to buy a test while we were out shopping. All the way home I was thinking wouldn’t it be great if I was, and then telling myself not to be so stupid in the next breath. When we arrived home I did the clearblue test….to my total shock and amazement a bright blue second line was staring back at me. I was shaking and crying so hard…I could hear Jimmy shouting downstairs have you done it. I could not even answer him. I was in total shock. He was downstairs sitting on the sofa. My living room is open plan…I got halfway down the stairs and said to him….I’m pregnant!!!! As soon as I said the words I could not believe they were coming from my mouth…It was like someone else was saying it…I had to show him the test…he could not believe it either. We were sat next to each other on the sofa with the biggest grins on our faces. I told my mum, she brought me back down to earth with a crash! “What happens if it is another ectopic” I new the risk was high. Turned out that the pregnancy was not an ectopic but we lost it at 7 weeks. I cannot even begin to tell you how we felt. It was such a cruel thing to happen. All those years of thinking I could not have any more children and the suddenly I was pregnant, to have that baby taken from us was so cruel. I was in pieces, inconsolable. IVF was mentioned again from the consultant at the hospital. We were told about egg share by a friend, so we looked into it. We were accepted onto the Egg share program at a local clinic. I was delighted but so scared. Did not no what to expect so turned to the internet and read as much about it as I could. We went through our 1st IVF and were delighted to achieve pregnancy first time but sadly after seeing our baby’s heartbeat the next scan showed our baby had died. This was just too much for me to bare. The chromosome analysis was done and showed to be normal, Jimmy and I were also tested, all the results came back normal. We were unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss. I picked myself back up and we went through a second cycle. We again achieved pregnancy only to be told that this baby was an ectopic. Why oh why was this keep happening to us…we are not bad people. I had to have a counseling after this…I was in bits. Jimmy has been great through all of this. He has done everything in to try to make this work along with me he changed his diet…took vitamin and mineral supplements, gave up alcohol. Sometimes I wonder why we bothered to make all those changes, but then I think we have to give this every chance. Since the ectopic we have done another four cycles with no luck. We used two frozen embryos which were left over from our very first cycle but this also failed. I wish that I could say that our journey ended with a happy ending but unfortunately it did not happen for us. Please don't let our story dishearten you because there are plenty of happy endings too, you just have to read the success story section to see that! Lots of luck to everyone!
Deanne Jenkyns (Site Founder)
I Would like to thank my husband for all his support....he is my strength and the love of my life!